Every year Chicktime has an annual retreat. Last year it was based around Brene Brown’s work of vulnerability. In her book, The Gifts of Imperfection, backed up by years of research and her own self-reflection, she dives into the shame bleeding from the perceptions of our imperfections. Enlightening the path to worthiness, love and belonging, Brown links living wholeheartedly and the ability to connect with having the courage to be imperfect, and the ability let go of what you ought to be and embrace who you are. By embracing your flaws you open up and become vulnerable, compassionate and authentic. Thus delivering joy, creativity, and worthiness into your life.
Facing this information at the retreat, I recall sitting in my corner of pride unable to move in the search of my worthiness. In the past I would dilute the pain by escaping through numbing agents to sooth the blistering self-doubt emanating from shame of not being enough. The funny thing about numbing the negative emotions, is that you also sedate the positive ones too. Right then and there, the areas where I needed to step up and become a better person, the ones I rather not face, were alive, activated and present. At the end of our last workshop we had an opportunity to dance. As I sat there with my hands in my lap, fixated gaze on the openness around me, I stuck to my chair glued by my stubbornness of not allowing myself to be free in who I was.
A year later I reflect on that moment because our event this month was about sharing the passion of music, dancing and singing. It brought out those same fears of being vulnerable, but this time, I knew that I needed to step up and be seen in purpose of showing these girls the beauty of self-expression. I am in no way a fabulous singer or dancer, but instead of being frozen in fear I moved with courage. Ladies we all have imperfections. Hiding them may be our first inclination, but I encourage you to share them with others. Yes you will experience rejection, and negative emotions alongside of showing your true self. At the same time the amount of happiness and wholeness seeping through the way you live will be vibrant and worth every heartache, amounting to loving yourself for you. You are worthy of love and belonging.
The biggest thing I have taken away from this is that God shows us our arenas of where we need to step up through experiences, people and wisdom. No matter what those hindering imperfections are that stops us from feeling worthy of growing, he gives us grace to help us see our identities through him, so we can be renewed with a different perception of love and compassion for ourselves and others. The human condition is to be flawed. In the end what matters is just being honest with who you are.
Chicks of Chicktime. Thank you for showing me how to be honest. You are all wonderfully imperfect and I cherish this time I have to share my imperfect self with you. I love you all.
A special thanks to DJ GraiiKJ. Your enthusiasm, and passion for music and sharing your kind heart and spirit filled us up with love. Thank you so much for spending the time and donating your talents for the girls at Casa! We are so grateful. Hope to see you soon again.